Humble Ten Commandments to my Dear Wife

1.   Don’t kill other person’s passion.

2.   Understand the difference between expressing and overexpressing.

3.   Bring up the issue that is pinching inside.

4.   Give space.

5.   Give benefit of doubt but also not treat the other person as an equal and intelligent fellow.

6.   Balance between right thing and practical thing.

7.   Keep the fight behind closed door.

8.   Be rational and willing to empathize with the other party.

9.   Understand that rules are meant to be broken (these are just guidelines).

10.                     Don’t let society dictate the terms and conditions of our relationship.

Lost once again

When the words not said grow so much,
That my body starts to pain so much.

The emotions that I feel cannot be contained,
What we have can no longer be sustained.

A call needs to be made.

O' lover of Sharukh Khan,
I'm done consider this my last salam.

Someone has surely died,
I have for the last time cried.

Forget you'll ever find me in the debris,
I'll never say that it's not you but me.

Where are we as Indians on the path towards intellectual evolution?

I have for quite some time wanted to write on this topic and a recent heated discussion with one of my friends has lead me to venture onto this thorny path. I say thorny as this path is which hurts us deep in our hearts. We are not ready to acknowledge that we have failed and that too failed miserably. People may call it their opinion but what they so easily forget is that there is vast difference between ignorance and a difference in opinion. You may say that the world is flat and that is what is your opinion and live with it and hopefully pass it on to your generation with such a tight knit veil of arrogance and stubbornness that people will actually be convinced in spite of the blatant facts that it could truly be possible, and disregard the facts. Let the world be flat, live our life happily and arrogantly , and die. What is that we leave behind….

If I may ,I would like to answer the same truthfully.

A generation of idiots.

People who are far and large stupid and never would like to look at a thing from another perspective and apply logic and learning to preconceived notions.

At this point I gladly remember my father and mother for my upbringing. I was never told what caste I was from, what religion I should blindly follow. Though at times I am speechless and dumbstruck when people ask me as to who I am. I answer that I am a Hindu, sometime I answer that I am a normal human being. But to this day I never really know the right answer. If I really had to say from my heart, “I am MITIN”. Nothing more, nothing less would suffice.

I look at all religions , even my own with the same awe, hint of suspicion and humility to learning.

When I really think, this is the fundamental question that we have trickled down to. No matter how much technologically advanced we become, no matter how many millions of dollars worth of deals we do, we still don’t know who we are. We’re not the India of the pre Independence era when people were simple, humble and had “values”. Nor have we come to be the “Americanised”. We are lost somewhere in between, where we boast of our traditional values and where women are still not given their rightful place in the society. We have started to go to the McDonalds and the KFC’s of today and still have not one clue why do we go there and what all does it stand for.

All this does not essentially means that all is wrong in our society. There are exceptions, but sadly for my India’s sake they are just a handful. I pray I may be wrong, but this is what the society at large is and this is what I have to endure .  I’ve seen that it is not a good option to try and preach what is right. People look up to highly confident people like Ramdev, Anna, Modi and the same. I don’t either condone or agree with their beliefs but I want people to have logic behind what they see to believe in these people. One good speech and doing does not turn someone into a saint or a leader. People just want someone to tell that what should they do and then shower him/her with all the riches. When I tell them the methodology to follow to realize the truth, I am pelted with stone and shoed away.

I heed to the people in this country of mine that it is time that we grow, rather evolve into more intelligent beings else I see us just apes in front of laptops.

Social Ripples Of A Innocent Decision – “I want to get a dog”

I am an animal lover and since time I can’t even recollect, I have had a desire to get a dog in my house. The reasons behind the rational in getting one are obvious and I don’t want to get into that. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about just imagine the impact of a person in your life that is unselfish, caring, innocent and has the ability to impart unconditional love. But lately I’ve been analyzing the reason why someone would want to not have such a person in their life. There are things that I might point out that might not set in well in the reader and I’m truly not apologetic for stating those. I may be totally wrong but I have my reasons to say what I say and I’m open to discussions given ego is set aside during that discussion.

                There are various “explanations/reasons” that people give when they want to discard this topic. I’ll state some and try to find the rationale behind them. Many people say that they would agree to everything that is good and positive in owning a dog; it’s just that space is an issue. Fair enough point. But do you once sit down and ponder as to what would happen to this already lack of space when you continue your blood line. By that rationale, reproduction should also be looked at with that very correct rationality and sense of logic. I would just argue here that there are things that we do not just for their logic and rationality but which we just cause we feel like to. That is why I think the term HOBBY exists. Also there is a saying in India that we are never out of space. You would see a bus packed with 100 people where only 50 can be accommodated and still when the next person comes in, he would be welcome.

                There is one other logic that circulates quite a lot is that “I don’t think I can devote the time and attention needed to a dog”. To this point I would put forth a few questions like “If you were taken ill , how much time would you devote to your getting better?”, “If you were to start a family , how much of your time would you give into them and their needs?”, and so on. You would agree that questions like these are a no brainer and anyone would readily devote as much time and energy willingly to these tasks. There is a simple reason also as to why one would do that. It’s that no effort goes in making such a decision and then following through. Consider yourself in the most helpless or possibly the best situation that you can be in – A bachelor. You are living alone, have n many tasks to do every day and n many difficulties and issues. But now suppose your mother comes to live with you, and then do you think that you would not be able to take out time for her everyday even if that is just 5 minutes.

                Also may say that dogs litter the house and is a nuisance. I recently visited a house where the toddler in the house was just being difficult to handle. He cried all the time, was irritating and even was responsible for a lot of mess in the house. Yet I didn’t see anyone fuss that much about him. They understand that there would be a reason for him to do so and eventually when he grows up, he would in fact understand and improve. Why is it so hard for us to think of dogs in the same light? Why do we think that dogs are so dumb that are inherently stupid and will never improve? Don’t you think as time progresses the dog would connect with his master and try to improve up on himself? Also if in the rarest case he doesn’t, there would be a logical reasoning as to why he doesn’t. If you think that you can get a remote control toy to which you feed a set of instructions and get the optimum performance out of , I’m sorry you are totally wrong. One more point that I would like to make is that there are times when a neat and tidy house is far worse to live in than the dirtiest house on earth. A house is not defined by the things that is in it but rather by the people that are in them. Also people may come and admire a house but when you critically analyze, what are they really admiring? The orientation of furniture or the quality of life that the people living in it are getting. That is what really defines you. I don’t want to make everyone stop cleaning their houses and starts living in a dump but only give it that much time that you can afford to give.

                Many people say that I’m scared of dogs. To this I would like to state that I’m too am afraid of aliens. Do you think I’ve seen one? Do you think that they(if they do exist) would all be harmful to us? Try to look at these questions of mine a reasonable manner, and see that my fear is totally prejudiced. I have made and decision without investigating in to find its rationality. People who are fearful of dogs have a prejudice. I do realize that some dogs are scary and they are just bread for that purpose. It is same as you fear and hate terrorist and love Mother Teresa. Maybe some incident made you that way but its continuation is totally up to you. Ignorance is a disease that can be cured via knowledge.

Lastly there is a point that I can’t argue against is that “I don’t like dogs and this I don’t want one.” But have not at least one of you seen there to be people that would be saying that they absolutely hate kids but when they finally have one their life just changes and they take back their own words. I can’t summarize that joys kids brings in the life in the form of small moments of sheer joys like or how they give a whole new perspective to your life when they treat you like their GOD and worship you and wait eagerly for your arrival. In the same way maybe owing a dog have some such moments in them, waiting for you to cherish them.

This may not be an exhaustive list as people in general have an very active imagination and their ability to debate on the silliest of points makes them highly effective in enveloping themselves in a layer ignorance.

At this point (for those who are still reading), you would feel that I’m trying to force my opinion on to you. I would like to reassure you that this is certainly not my intension. I just want to put forth my point and just hope to inculcate in you a sense that you should believe in things that you do , BUT for the right reasons. 

A letter to a dear friend

To my dear friend,

                This is written not as a joke or a pun of any sort but as an eye opener for both of us. By both of us I mean that there are things that I want to say that will help you realize things in your life and there are observations and lessons that I can learn and take away from this piece of exercise. I know our friendship has not been tested over the years, but so far it has been moderately good ,with each of us trying to understand the view point of other and also helping the other to develop intellectually to a whole new level. Although an innocent reader of this passage may not appreciate the gravity and importance of what I just said, but I know you would do so.

                Lately I have felt that somewhere you are not that same person that I left back. You may have developed in a manner that is “somewhat” the next logical step in the societal development ladder and that is truly wonderful and what I never imagined in my wildest imagination that you would accomplish. But sadly these are the ways of the society and any person that is not well trained in them is surely bound to fail in life. So these things will come to us no matter what. Our society is the ultimate jungle and one cannot just survive, he has to be the ALPHA male. One that you’re getting on the path of. However my question is that - is this all? Have you been taking your “mental nourishment” pills?

                I would like to bring up an example for you to consider to get a perspective as to what I want to say. Consider a tech geek , he may obsess with computers and technology all day every day. He craves for a new gadget that is out in the market say the new I-Phone. He puts himself through pain and misery thinking of ways to get this thing that he wants asap. But what effect will it have on his life when he thinks back to this point after say 10 years, 20 years and 30 years. Is this time spent in obsession justified for such a genius. You may not realize this but this is what our (yours and mine) situation is now.

                I feel that the motor that runs your mind is starting to get slower, it is getting contended running at a slower pace and getting the mundane and regular work done. It is telling you that this is all that you can get done and anything else is just not possible. But I know my friend better. I know that this is a person that taught me to transgress religion, politics, science, society, institutions, family and all the one dimensional subject people dwell in ever so fondly, and became someone that is truly enlightened. I have till date imbibed these values in me and live my life in true service of these. I may become someone else but that is but a mask and I am that person, that awesome person whose slight glimpse you showed me in those conversions that we had.

                That person is truly blessed according to me and I fell that all the riches of the world and never match up to the stature of such a person. But when I think about how can one go about to become this person and I find myself scratching my head. There is no clear path that we can follow, no mentor we can go to, no guiding instructions and no time constraint. But there is one thing that I clearly know is that to be that person, one cannot complain about the trivial facts in life and let these blind him. I would just like to point to something I once heard and feel is appropriate to this situation. “O Lord , please help me face the situations in life that I can influence with my effort and make peace with those situations that I have no control over. And more importantly give me wisdom to differentiate between the two.” I feel that are things that you obsess within your current situation that are out of your control and you just have to make peace of. These are what I call “trivial” situations that are ever so much present in the life of every person and suck up so much energy from us that I find astounding. The beauty of these situations are that no one ever cares to ponder on them. The reason is simple. People get so much engrossed in them they come to realize that these situations might actually be worth thinking about. And this happens so much in their life is that this question tries to come up lesser and lesser in their mind to the point that they fell it an insult to their existence that they or rather anyone should ponder on that.

                This is not to undermine anyone or what anyone is doing or is concerned about. The point that I want to make is that we have a vision for yourself that we see becoming in the years to come. Sadly this image keeps on changing over the period of time and more sadly our action just complements it. The vision that I feel that you had for yourself self is getting altered by these situations. So I would suggest a simple remedy. JUST LET GO. Seems simple enough to say but as you know its pretty difficult to implement. It’s like you have all the cards to win a game and you walk away from it cause the game is not worth winning.

                If you keep to it these situations can easily be handled and you can see yourself turning into a calmer, quieter and more rational person. You and I both know that the cards not shown are ever so much valuable. No one knows what they might be. We got to be like them. We should have the ability to surprise people and yet show that there is nothing to fear from us. The social intellectual balance in society should not be displaced as this is a society that is in its infant years of development. It can never hear thing like “I hate cricket” and all that sort. I would not like to go into reason but there are things that we ought to not show just to not create ripples not that it is wrong.

                Finally my friend I wish the best of luck to you and hope you really “grow” and know that time spend is time lost.

Thanks and Regards,

A caring friend.

My friend ADDHURI

In times that are bleak,

And nights that are ever so cold,

One ever so more needs to have faith in something that is so very pure.

This is a tribute to my friend(let’s say) Addhuri,

Whose presence in my life has made a lot of difference,

Her acts are like an invisible warm hand in the all this bleak wilderness.

She might be a shastry,

But we share a strange history,

Our odd friendship comes with such an ease that I find it a mystery.

First impressions are last impressions ,

That is not the case here.

Who appeared like a rogue, rebel, drama queen,

Turned out to be just too innocent to care,

Ignorant towards the stifling customs of the society,

While imbibing the unsaid moral code of a human being.

Not trampling immature and feeble souls like mine,

Rather providing a gentle and helpful nudge.

Even now bouncing back my ideas,

Being a mirror for my intellectual self,

Without any motive or want or greed.

So that my soul grows stronger and not just bleed.

Her interest in my work stems not from lingual but a rather humanitarian perspective,

Her actions and gestures may be small but their actions is totally effective,

Her goodness and worth is so overbearing that you’ll soon get infected.

She acted like the manliest man,

She jumped in a argument before it began,

Yet her feminine side needs no mention,

Via which she gets so much unwanted attention,

Ideas in her head are ever so witty,

Even a decent comic will fell with her shitty.

Humor intelligence, passion and humility are not traits easy to maintain,

But these are what is required in the new urbane.

Where are we as Indians on the path towards intellectual evolution?

I have for quite some time wanted to write on this topic and a recent heated discussion with one of my friends has lead me to venture onto this thorny path. I say thorny as this path is which hurts us deep in our hearts. We are not ready to acknowledge that we have failed and that too failed miserably. People may call it their opinion but what they so easily forget is that there is vast difference between ignorance and a difference in opinion. You may say that the world is flat and that is what is your opinion and live with it and hopefully pass it on to your generation with such a tight knit veil of arrogance and stubbornness that people will actually be convinced in spite of the blatant facts that it could truly be possible, and disregard the facts. Let the world be flat, live our life happily and arrogantly , and die. What is that we leave behind….

If I may ,I would like to answer the same truthfully.

A generation of idiots.

People who are far and large stupid and never would like to look at a thing from another perspective and apply logic and learning to preconceived notions.

At this point I gladly remember my father and mother for my upbringing. I was never told what caste I was from, what religion I should blindly follow. Though at times I am speechless and dumbstruck when people ask me as to who I am. I answer that I am a Hindu, sometime I answer that I am a normal human being. But to this day I never really know the right answer. If I really had to say from my heart, “I am MITIN”. Nothing more, nothing less would suffice.

I look at all religions , even my own with the same awe, hint of suspicion and humility to learning.

When I really think, this is the fundamental question that we have trickled down to. No matter how much technologically advanced we become, no matter how many millions of dollars worth of deals we do, we still don’t know who we are. We’re not the India of the pre Independence era when people were simple, humble and had “values”. Nor have we come to be the “Americanised”. We are lost somewhere in between, where we boast of our traditional values and where women are still not given their rightful place in the society. We have started to go to the McDonalds and the KFC’s of today and still have not one clue why do we go there and what all does it stand for.

All this does not essentially means that all is wrong in our society. There are exceptions, but sadly for my India’s sake they are just a handful. I pray I may be wrong, but this is what the society at large is and this is what I have to endure .  I’ve seen that it is not a good option to try and preach what is right. People look up to highly confident people like Ramdev, Anna, Modi and the same. I don’t either condone or agree with their beliefs but I want people to have logic behind what they see to believe in these people. One good speech and doing does not turn someone into a saint or a leader. People just want someone to tell that what should they do and then shower him/her with all the riches. When I tell them the methodology to follow to realize the truth, I am pelted with stone and shoed away.

I heed to the people in this country of mine that it is time that we grow, rather evolve into more intelligent beings else I see us just apes in front of laptops.